Fundie God Dictation Bible: Revelation 3:20

I often hear people preach an obscurantist God – one who avoids detection and acts so as to deny any possibility of demonstrating His existence, but still expects you to somehow conclude that He does indeed exist and follow Him on the basis of this deliberately insufficient evidence.

This new version of Revelation 3:20 is dedicated to them.

Behold! I stand at the door and knock. And then I run away and hide. It’s freakin’ hilarious, man – you should see their faces! And sometimes I leave them a flaming bag of dog poo, because they’ve got free will, right, so whatever they do isn’t really my fault. And you know what I think about over-reliance on material possessions, so it’s actually good for their souls to ruin a nice new pair of suede loafers once in a while. Seriously.