Email from Heaven

From: gabs@personnel.hv

Greetings, exalted friend. Kindly pardon me for inconvenience.

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I have the believe you are a reputable and responsible and trustworthy person I can do business with from the little information so far I gathered about you during my search for a partner and by matter of trust I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business.

Funds are awaiting your collection

I am Angel Gabriel from Heaven. The late son of our President was attacked by the opposition force and was killed on Good Friday 33AD. But before his death, he revealed and handed to me the whole of documents covering the deposit of abundant supplies of life. He explained to me that he had wish to see these supplies distributed very widely to all humanity.

I am contacting you with due sence of humanity that you will give it a sympathetic and mutual consideration. Sir, I am honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways.

1. To serve as the guardian of your share of this fund

2. To provide greatest assurance that this fund will be protected

Your share is amounting to an eternity (1 Eternity) of eternal bliss. In order to release these funds, it is required to provide deposit on one soul (1 Soul) by means of Sinner’s Prayer. I have tried my possible best to indicate that this deposit should be unnecessary owing to your honourable nature, but the funds have already been deposited at Bank of Heaven in your name.

Please be understanding that if you do not collect your share I will be held responsible for the loss and this shall invite a penalty of indefinite period of pain and suffering which I will regretfully be forced to pass onto you (the owner of the funds).

I am anxiously waiting to hear from you soonest.

Photo by ninahale, used under Creative Commons Attribution License 2.0

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About Recovering Agnostic

I'm Christian by upbringing, agnostic by belief, cynical by temperament, broadly scientific in approach, and looking for answers. My main interest at the moment is in turning my current disengaged shrug into at least a working hypothesis.

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