Ten Hundred Word Forgiveness

PrayerWhen we do bad things, we should do something to make it better. If we don’t, God is allowed to do bad things to us to make it even. We do a bad thing that he doesn’t like, so he does a bad thing that we don’t like. God likes blood to make it better, but there aren’t enough animals for all the bad things we do, so Mr Jesus died so that there would always be enough blood to make God happy. Now all we need to do is say sorry.

Now when we say sorry, God promises that he won’t hurt us, even if we did really, really bad things. You just have to mean it when you say sorry, like I tell my children. I don’t think they always really mean it, even then, but God knows everything, so he can probably tell if you’re only pretending to be sorry. Maybe if that happens, He makes you sit on the step until you really mean it.

There’s only one thing that God won’t let us off if we say sorry, which is being mean to the air-God-person. No one really knows what that means, or why the air-God-person gets more bothered than the other God-people about people saying bad things, but Mr Jesus was very sure about it, even if he didn’t explain it very simply. If there’s only one thing that God really doesn’t want us to do, you’d think he’d be clearer about what it is.

God still seems to think people should be locked up when they do bad things, even if they say sorry and promise not to do it again, which is quite strange. That means people who hurt and kill other people or take their things can never be trusted to be good while they’re living, even if they’re really sorry, but they’re allowed to run around like everyone else in the nice place in the sky for as long as they want.

Maybe it’s okay because there isn’t anything to take or kill in the nice place.

Image courtesy of bacon_pola, used with permission

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About Recovering Agnostic

I'm Christian by upbringing, agnostic by belief, cynical by temperament, broadly scientific in approach, and looking for answers. My main interest at the moment is in turning my current disengaged shrug into at least a working hypothesis.

6 responses to “Ten Hundred Word Forgiveness”

  1. Louis says :

    A funny caricature, but not living up to a sincere appraisal of Christianity.

  2. Arkenaten says :

    That’s sound like the god, God all right.

  3. jonnyscaramanga says :

    I’ve only just fully recognised the brilliance of three ten hundred-worders. Love it.

  4. jonnyscaramanga says :

    I meant to write “these ten hundred-worders”. I am less brilliant.

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