Biblical Parenting

Garden of EdenI’m not a great parent. Too often, I’m grumpy, impatient or distracted by something I find more interesting than my offspring – even, believe it or not, this blog.

But I’ve decided to do something about that. I’m going to take my lead from a book that’s often held up as the ultimate – or indeed only – arbiter of morality, right and wrong, good and evil. There are plenty of parents in the Bible who should be fine role models, but more importantly, God Himself is described as a Father to all of us. With His superior power, maturity and understanding, this is surely the ultimate example of what a parent should be like.

So I’m going to start from the beginning, with the first chapters of Genesis. Tomorrow, I’m going to leave a big, incredibly sharp razor blade on the floor while the boys are playing, but it’s alright, I’m not a monster – I’ll tell them that they can play with anything in the house except the strange, interesting, potentially lethal object on the floor. That should guarantee that they do what I tell them.

I know this might seem cruel or negligent, but if I protected them from obvious dangers, I’d clearly just be denying them free will, and that would be no good at all. I’ll tell them not to touch and leave them to it, but if they ever decide to disobey me (note to self: check the house for snakes), then clearly there will be nothing for it but to throw them out on the street.

It’ll hurt me more than it does them (possibly), but I’ll have to do it because they didn’t obey me and shamefully tried to exercise the choice that was only available because I put it there. Sad, but it’s their own fault if they end up homeless and cursed to the nth generation. That and any digits that get lost along the way.


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About Recovering Agnostic

I'm Christian by upbringing, agnostic by belief, cynical by temperament, broadly scientific in approach, and looking for answers. My main interest at the moment is in turning my current disengaged shrug into at least a working hypothesis.

3 responses to “Biblical Parenting”

  1. ILeftTheFold says :

    I was sure you might just resort to stoning them to death!! Great post!!

  2. Karin says :

    Well, that certainly shows the dangers of taking the Bible too literally, although oddly I’ve yet to come across even a fundamentalist who takes that bit so literally.

    • Recovering Agnostic says :

      Whether anyone takes it literally or not, it’s entirely commonplace for people with even quite moderate beliefs to speak of Biblical this/that, and that goes for Biblical parenting as well. My intention is to point out that such a label is invariably highly selective.

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